Trump’s Women

Every man’s first love is his mother, and, if Freud was right about anything, it would be that the  “Oedipus complex” dominates a boy’s early years. If anyone is going to write a narrative about the life of Donald Trump, from the perspective of the women in his life- she would have to be first. She’s a good looking woman, with a trim body- and a mother of five kids. She’s obviously pleased with her son, whose been shipped off to military academy because his father thought he needed “discipline”. At the academy he was elected “Ladies Man”, along with other medals and honors.


Trump’s first wife was Ivana, an Olympic Class skier from Czechoslovokia, and she was the most substantial woman he ever met. She got educated in design and partnered with him in the successful Trump Tower project. Trump’s dad, Fred, made a fortune from scratch first building pre-fab garages, then homes to sell to G.I.s returning from WWII, in Queens- and Donald wanted to do better, built an office tower in Manhattan. You can see in the picture he was clearly thrilled with Ivana- you don’t see that excitement in any of his photos with any of the other women.

They had three children, Ivanka, Donald and Eric.  Ivanka is the most important woman in his life, today. Her speech at her father’s inauguration was assurance to women everywhere that at least one woman in the world has his full respect, and his ears are open to her voice.

Ivana didn’t age well, and she competed for the spotlight. Trump divorced her saying after three children her body didn’t appeal to him any more, taking the blame for the divorce- always the gentleman. It was a plausible explanation, and an inspiration to bimbos everywhere. He turned his attention to less substantial, younger women.


Then came a cute young beauty queen and actress, Marla Maples. They got pregnant, and he married her a few months after she gave birth to his daughter Tiffany, named after a jewelry store.


Trump’s current wife is a former model from Slovakia. They have a son together, Barron. She’s a charming First Lady who invites little criticism. She’s beautiful, moves elegantly, speaks with an accent- and doesn’t say much. Some of my friends voted for Donald Trump because (they said) they would rather look at Milenia for the next four years than Hillary Clinton. While some in the media speculate that they’re having problems, I think it’s just wishful thinking. In my view, Milenia is having the time of her life, the red carpet is rolled out for her wherever she goes, she gets to meet great people (like France’s Macron) and have fun with hundreds of children looking for Easter eggs on the White House Lawn. You can always tell when she’s having a good time because her eyes light up like a child’s in a toy store. She has a handsome and well-born son- and she owes it all to The Donald. I think he’s thankful to have her enduring loyalty, given who she’s married to and the rest of the women in his life who aren’t so loyal.

Loyal Women- Hope and Kellyanne

Trump has not only a history which includes a lot of strikingly beautiful women, but many of them are long time loyal friends and allies. Kellyanne Conway is one of them. Good looking, intelligent and well spoken- she will gladly step into the middle of the biggest mess with a scoop shovel. She’s patient, persistent, loyal to the bone- and people like her. She’s one of the “big guns” in his arsenal of backers and protectors. Hope Hicks, younger and less confident, is loyal and beautiful, too. It’s hard for people to be certain he’s rotten when so many people (beautiful women, especially) are so ferociously loyal to him. It’s his biggest asset.

Trump’s Complaining Women

It’s said, “Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned…”, and Donald Trump has a revue of them lined up to sue him for various offenses- real and/or imagined. Some of them are attractive now, most were cute when they were young.

The Witches- “Stormy”, Karen, Omarosa

There are three really angry women with greedy and competent lawyers who would love to tack Trump’s hide to the barn door. The first is a “Adult Film Star” who goes by the stage- name of Stormy Daniels. Then there’s a “Playboy Bunny”, Karen MacDougal, and finally there’s “Reality TV Star”, Omarosa Manigualt.

And there’s MORE

If anyone wonders why Trump is admired by men and white women elected him president, here are a few more pictures of beautiful women who surround or have surrounded Trump. One of them is married to Nicholas Sarkosy, leader of France.  Many men would trade their lives and wives for his in a heartbeat, just as their wives would trade them in for a chance at Trump…

Conspiracy theorists suggest that Milenia was an arranged marriage, and Vladimir Putin was the arranger. She was a beautiful child, graceful, and had international sensibilities- perhaps even intelligence.  Putin might have offered Trump a choice, too… conspiracy theories always leave unanswered questions.  But, as First Lady she does her job gracefully, and her form borders on divine, if aloof (that’s OK, divinity and aloofness go together)… with a little help from the plastic surgeon it deviates little from perfection. Most American males have trouble taking their eyes off her, as if they’re trying to read the mind of someone from another planet. 

Someone made the comment that she had a look of sheer terror in the presence of Vladimir Putin. Surely she understands what happens to anyone who crosses him. I didn’t see it, and I’m not convinced by the photos. What I’ve seen in her eyes is a young girl’s gleam when she met France’s Macron- she obviously liked him, and I saw it again when she waited for the signal to blow her whistle to start the Easter Egg Roll for hundreds of babies and small children on the White House lawn. Most of the time she maintains that far away look of someone who doesn’t understand the language, but doesn’t want to let on that she’s not catching any of it. If she’s actually KGB, as the conspiracy theorist surmise, that could be exactly the right strategy.

Perhaps that’s why everyone stares at her, and perhaps it’s simpler than that. She’s a lovely treat for the eyes. Like beautiful women everywhere, she is always granted the benefit of the doubt. Somebody obviously dressed her in that designer army jacket, told her she looked good in it… surely she didn’t choose it for herself.

Depicted as “lurid”, perhaps #metoo has gone too far. All I see in this picture is an affectionate father and a devoted and appreciative daughter.

“Is it live, or is it Photoshop?”